It’s back again: the tightness in my chest, the anxiety, the racing mind, the stress, the worry, the feeling of failure, the wall that I can’t see my way over, around, under, or through. I’m a fraud, I suck, I can’t do this, people are gonna hate me when I fuck this up. I know what I need to do but how do I actually do it? OK, maybe I don’t really know what I need to do, but I know where I need to end up. I just have absolutely no clue how to get from here to there.
Welcome to the last 40-ish years of my life. I don’t remember experiencing much of that kind of anxiety prior to college. When I had things to do, I could just pull something out of thin air at the last minute and it was usually fine. College started throwing up walls. Grad school made them higher, thicker, wider, deeper.
Maybe those feelings described above are embedded even more deeply for you than they are for me. But they’re there. So how do we overcome the Wall of Awful?
Beginning at the Beginning
Let’s start this journey at the beginning. Literally. Task Initiation is the first of 12 Executive Functions I’m exploring as part of the Rebuild, and it’s often the biggest hurdle for the ADHD brain. I think it gets harder as we get older (and more so over 50) if we don’t have systems in place that we can adapt to new situations.
Task paralysis is a “misfire” of the brain’s “ignition” switch in the frontal lobe. It’s not laziness; it’s a neurobiological thing that actually prevents us from getting started. To put it in computer terms, it’s a BIOS (Basic Input/Output System) problem. If the BIOS doesn’t load correctly when we turn the computer on, the operating system (Windows, MacOS, Linux, etc.) doesn’t load, and the software can’t run. We’re not “broken;” we just need to tweak our startup sequence.
The “Lowest Friction” Entry Point
The Hurdle: The ADHD neurotype perceives a project as one giant indivisible mountain.
Clearing that Hurdle: Don’t aim to “do the thing.” Aim to do the smallest, simplest piece of the thing first. Focus on clearing that specific hurdle, and only that hurdle.
- Open the email and type the subject line
- Open the dishwasher and start loading the silverware, or the cups, or the plates
- Read the instructions in full.
5-4-3-2-1: The Mel Robbins Method, aka The 5-Second Rule
Literally count down from 5 and take action as soon as you hit 1.
- 5-4-3-2-1 Get out of bed
- 5-4-3-2-1 Open the email
- 5-4-5-2-1 Put your hands on the dishes
The countdown bypasses the “contemplation” phase where the ADHD brain starts negotiating with itself. It bypasses the habit loop and the fear centers in our brains that often talk us out of taking action. It disrupts old thinking patterns and forces action before our brains have the chance to make excuses.
Externalized Next Physical Action
Instead of, “Work on chores,” your instruction to yourself should be: “Empty the dishwasher.” Working on chores is an idea, a concept, a vague goal. The brain can’t initiate a concept or a goal. It can, however, initiate a specific physical movement, “empty the dishwasher.” Break the project down into its component parts until you find an action you can actually visualize doing. Then take action. (Count down from 5 if you need to.)
Dopamine Stacking
Combine the “dry” task (doing the dishes) with instant sensory “wins.” Try to engage at least two senses while you’re working:
- Audio: A specific track of music that matches the energy required or a familiar podcast
- Taste/Smell: A fresh cup of coffee or a scented candle
Each added sensory input multiplies the dopamine hit, so the effect is compounded. Make your rewards concurrent, something you enjoy while you do the thing. And have that stack ready to go before you start your countdown.
Rebuild Using The Path of Least Resistance
Overcoming task paralysis is all about lessening that internal friction. When we find ways over, around, under, and through the Wall of Awful, we start accumulating meaningful wins.
Task Paralysis is probably the single biggest hurdle in my ADHD journey. From my past in university classrooms and IT departments to whatever form my “Third Act” eventually takes, the friction is real.
Which of these four strategies feels like the “lowest friction” for you to try today? Let me know know in the comments.